I do like the intentions behind the It Gets Better campaign video currently showing on UK TV (to advertise google chrome .. hmn). It was spearheaded by Dan Savage in response to homophobic bullying of LGBT teens and specifically some high profile suicides of young people.
There are a tonne of You Tube videos that celebrities and ordinary folk (no harm to celebrities) have uploaded with powerful personal messages about it all getting better. People are using the internet for good and it's great.
You can add your name to the pledge and donate the book to a school or library. I am going to definitely do this (and ask that it be sent to the school that messed Constance McMillen about with her prom).
Magic!
However, I've a couple of nagging doubts.
Say I am a young LBGT person and I am struggling (family, school, friends, none friends etc), would I feel better because I am being told it will get better? I am not sure.
If I am feeling suicidal will somebody telling me that it gets better make me stop thinking of suicide?
Maybe I am thinking that it won't get better but these folks are telling me that it will so .. if it doesn't get better, is that about me?
When does it get better? Is there a specific time or date or event at which point I will know that things will have got better or will be better?
I might be better but will 'things' be better? Will all the factors that contributed to me getting bullied or just feeling very, very different to everyone else, will they also get better?
What do I do just now because, yes, I know I need to be positive and I like the videos (thanks) but seriously, I still don't think things will get better. What do I do? Who can I talk to? What should I do that's helpful? Do I really just have to 'suck it up' until it gets better? Boooooo! I want it to be better now!
etc, etc
The Gay-Straight Alliance Network set up the Make It Better Project to provide practical and concrete tools for schools and young people to help address some of the structural causes of homophobic bullying. I think that is great because it is something missing in the It Gets Better campaign when viewed as a stand alone movement.
I do really like the campaign and it certainly inspires me. I wonder though if it shouldn't be called the "It Got Better for me, look and see how and maybe it will get better for you but let's try and make sure it does and in the immediate here and now, what would help you to feel better, campaign"? Too many words I guess.
2 comments:
Mmmmm, lots to think about there Flos. I am trying to imagine what it would have been like for me growing up in the age of YouTube, twitter, facebook etc., and being exposed to a video such as this.
I guess one of the main things that contribute to poor mental health in young gay people is their feelings of isolation - "is it just me that feels like this? Are there others like me?"
That was certainly my experience.
In that sense, I think the video could go some way towards assuaging these feelings of loneliness and isolation, and therefore giving the young person more confidence to go "out there" and be who they are.
Would it stop someone who had become frankly suicidal from ending their life? Probably not in most cases, but then I'm not sure if that was the intention of the video.
What strikes me is that MOST adolescents, gay or straight, are going through a period of turmoil, and that most would benefit from the message that "it will get better". Maybe what we should be doing is trying to enhance the mental health of all young people (the most at-risk group in terms of suicide, irrespective of sexuality)? I'm not saying that young gay people shouldn't be singled out in terms of mental health programmes, or as they are in this video, just that maybe we should be being more inclusive in our approach?
As for your questions about young people wanting to know WHEN it will get better, who can ever say? For some people, it never gets better, for others it will not get better until they are in their 40's or 50's and they have learned to accept themselves as they are.
I hope I am not sounding too equivocal about the video - I don't mean to be. I applaud this initiative, and am glad to see it on the telly. Judging by the comments on the YouTube site, it has helped a lot of young people.
Love ya Flos.
xxxx
I've come over all IGB refusenik haven't I? Aw, I didn't mean to and yes, I like the videos. I just think it could lead to a bit of complacency. Very laudable though x I am going to spend my train journey this morning thinking up reasons to not be cynical:-)
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