I was reading somebody's blog the other day and a reader had posted a number of questions, the last of which was a question about who the blogger's current celebrity crush was on. I liked that. I could relate to that. We've all had celebrity crushes although it's something that people perhaps find more acceptable to talk about when they are younger (Sabrina Duncan from Charlie's Angels incidentally). It got me to thinking about who I currently have a celebrity crush on and to be honest, I really couldn't come up with anyone. Aside from the previously mentioned Ultimate Handyman (dissipating since I bought a £16 adjustable spanner), it would perhaps be the lead female hero on V. That would be at a push though. Asexual (I could see myself having a glass of cava with them and potting plants together and am inviting them to a 6 seated dinner party) repositories for my suppositories of admiration are the theme of this week's blog (yes it's got weekly, I am being lazy and will pick up the cudgel of meandering nonsense again for a more regular strike anon). Incidentally, anon is a great word for a meandering wastrel. It could mean tomorrow or it could mean next week.
I profusely admire and often think about the following five dinner guests who are famous.
Betty White (Golden Girls and my personal favourite Lake Placid to name but a few) is a wonderfully funny actress with a passion for animal rights. In Lake Placid she plays a kooky loner rooting for the big crocodiles.
Vanessa Redgrave still cuts a compelling and authoritative figure as the years descend and personal tragedy befalls her. The most recent performance of hers that I have seen as the guilt ridden adult Briony in Atonement was a film stealing tour De force. It's almost impossible to think of one role that you could single out as especially extraordinary but my personal favourite is her performance in Agatha, charting the mysterious lost period of Agatha Christie. I equally admire her for her political convictions and courage. I don't always agree with what she says but I admire her for her passion and determination to use her elevated position to fight oppression and injustice. I can personally relate to this quote of hers very well, "Of course, I am misrepresented very often, but so is everybody who has got something to say."It would be more interesting to write a blog describing why one may not like Stephen Fry but I honestly have enormous admiration for the nation's favourite. I didn't especially like Fry and Lawrie or Jeeves and Wooster. However, I love his love of language, his courageous advancement of our understanding of bipolarity, what political views of his that I know of and his quirky interest in things like Apple Computers, Teddy Bears, Black Cabs, Cricket and Darts. I shared some of England's Ashes victory with Stephen via Twitter (along with Lily Allen incidentally who Twittered "what's the score" which prompted me to post each time England secured an Australian wicket during the last test). My favourite quote of his, (on being gay) "My first words, as I was being born... I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those.'" Here's a video I salivate over, on Fry's love of language.
In terms of a politician, it's a toss up for me between Barack Obama, George Galloway and Tony Benn. I admire each for their various political achievements, vision, intellect and drive. However, I am inviting Gordon Brown and his wife Sarah Brown is invited for After Eight mints and coffee in the drawing room. I was never a fan of Gordon Brown as Labour leader or Prime Minister however I felt humbled by his emotional resignation speech following the last General Election. The pain etched on his wife's face in particular was there for all to see. I then watched a video of a Gordon Brown we rarely saw, full of passion and humour as he rallied the faithful in Manchester. It's too long to post here but it was a fantastic speech. Gordon was clearly always a man who was strongly rooted in socialism but in my view he failed to shine in a political landscape (shaped largely by his Nemesis of kind Tony Blair) based on personality and charisma. He's off to do some voluntary work now but I hope he has time to come along with Sarah.
To recap, with one chair vacant; I currently have Betty White, Vanessa Redgrave, Stephen Fry and Gordon Brown coming to dinner. Looking at my list again I'm thinking it could be quite a subdued affair with Gordon feeling a little down, Vanessa having had more pain than one person could reasonably be expected to bear in one year and Stephen not certain to be chipper; so I have decided to find somebody who will make me laugh so much I expunge from every reasonable orifice all the gas that my wondrous cooking and rapt attention will produce.
I've additionally decided to buy two more chairs. Yes it's a cheat and I should really be clever and go back and say I am inviting seven famous people for dinner but I am an amateur blogger with space for two more chairs and if you want clever, go and read The Guardian.
So to recap, I have four confirmed guests and myself with now three spare chairs. As above, one chair must be for somebody who will make me laugh. Another chair I have decided should be for someone who I can stare at once the wine kicks in either because of curious disfigurement or astonishing beauty. The last chair I now feel should be for someone who will be practical and help me tidy up and reassure me if a dish goes wrong or I knock over the gravy boat (as there will be gravy and I will knock it over).
To wonder at the beauty of we have Penelope Cruz. I was going to chose Angelina Jolie but I figure she may struggle with baby sitters and if Penelope Cruz comes she can sing Volver at the end whilst the guests clap rhythmically and I show off my prowess on the Spanish Guitar. I can also ask Penelope about another hero Pedro Almodovar and she can teach us a little Spanish and dish the dirt on Tom Cruise in between courses.
After some pondering I have decided that the amusing chair and reassuring / I can't do it without you chair will go to my friends Julie and Kevin. They are two of the finest people one can ever hope to meet. Both are individually magnificent but together, they are unstoppable. Truly funny moments are too many to mention but I have dined in laughter for hours afterwards on r J's whimsical enquiry one sunday night as to what she would look like in the full body suit of an Alpine skier. They aren't famous yet but I think Betty, Vanessa, Stephen, Gordon (and Sarah) and Penelope would approve.
