Silly Walks

As ever the morning after a night of indulgence, I am appalled at the leftovers from a night drinking at my computer.  I have managed to spam my own facebook wall with all manner of songs I don't remember listening to and there is an empty wine bottle and a one thirds empty bottle of Russian Standard Vodka huddled around me.  I haven't had a hangover for a while but this is a stonker.

So there I was this morning laying in bed cursing the single vodka that undoubtedly crashed me over the edge of sobriety and I remembered I am hosting a get together tonight.

I decided that I needed a good lay in bed if I was to tackle the carnage brought about by a night of drinking and get myself ready to host my lovely friends.  I also remembered a plan to move a double bed that some careless neighbour has wedged against my bathroom window, on top of my herbs.  Or at least to pin an angry note (anonymously) of outrage on the door.  However, I was awoken by a terrible noise and my day became progressively worse.

It's July 2nd and an estimated 8000 marchers are expected for the annual Orange Walk through Glasgow.  Oh this thing makes my heart sink.  Firstly, it's bloody noisy.  Secondly, it attracts thousands of drunk Glasgow Rangers fans with their drunk Glasgow Rangers songs to my street and I have no way of asking them to move along.  They chant sectarian songs and make statements decrying the religious leader of my Catholic friends whilst police watch on.  Thirdly, I have to witness the induction of very small people into this hideous tradition with Union Jack draped children being led by the hands of Union Jack draped parents.  Finally, it's triumphalist and sectarian.

I honestly think the Parades have no place in a modern Scotland (or anywhere for that matter).  Clearly none of the people supporting the marchers today are Dutch or have a particular affection for history.  Very few will know that William of Orange defeated King James at the Battle of the Boyne.  For those people who do know, these marches are about the overthrow of the last Catholic monarch and the subsequent and continued subjugation of the Catholic people.  For the rest, it's an excuse to dust off the Rangers tops and Union Jacks, get drunk, fight with each other and possibly somebody else and prance about the streets singing vile songs and chanting vile chants.  There has been rioting again in Belfast and unconfirmed reports of an incident in The Gallowgate area of Glasgow as I write.  Can we consign this silly walk to history please?  Or if it's to stay, can we insist that the marchers can only march if they do an actual silly walk? Of the John Cleese variety?

Off to tidy up.