So, it's been gosh four months since my last blog. I haven't even been back to read the previous ones. I've decided that my blog is a bit stupid really. Yes my heid is stuffed but not really with anything that useful. Ma heid is stuffed wi mince. But I have a theory .. I don't have a lot to say because I don't spend enough time talking to people about things I haven't thought about before or didn't know. I don't read fiction or rarely watch the news much anymore and I don't read blogs. So it's a bit of a vacuum up there. The only wisdom that I have heard this week is a drunk say to another in my street, "get one cold sore and that's you got Herpes". I used to like to write but I have found it a bit of chore recently.
So what's been happening then? Well, I went to New York and it was brilliant but honestly, until I move there to live, I don't see myself going back again for a bit. The 'New York effect' just re emphasised all the things that are less than for me this time and I felt a bit depressed after it. I got too into my camera and was for that and other reasons, a pain to be with. I did though have my best ever meal of my life in New York in a fancy restaurant. It was a stunner.
I bought a new camera. It's a Nikon DSLR and it's beautiful :-) I still don't totally understand it but it has changed my interest in photography of pictures of nice things to appreciating things like composition and placement. This is one I took of a spider.
The thing I worry about though is that to get really good, I will have to spend more money - better lens, tripod etc. I bought a night time photography course from Groupon but I haven't gone on it yet. Me and Douglas (the camera) don't really see eye to eye on night time shots yet so the course will be good. I quite fancy photo journalism after coming across brilliant shots (check some of these out http://www.facebook.com/elijahnouvelagephoto) during the occupy movement period but that would be super expensive.
Did my knee in again. I hate it when it happens - it is sore and very inconvenient and it just reminds me each time than in 5 or so years, I will be in right bother with pain and my mobility. It also meant that my out the back garden has gone for now. Most of it blew over in the wind and I can't bear to go out there to see the full extent of the damage. I went to post a letter to my neighbour up the stairs a week or so ago and glanced out the window at the back and it looks really bad.
I decided to get rid of a load of furniture in my flat and replace it with nicer stuff that the builder didn't write on or that has a bunch of plaster dust deeply immersed in every grain. I did some of that but still haven't taken delivery of the new stuff. I have been sleeping on a sofa for 3 weeks. So essentially, I have made my two bedroom flat into a bedsit really for no other reason than I am lazy and a bit flat at the moment and can't find the energy. Something that was meant to make me feel grown up has ended up making me feel like a young person who has just left home for the first time and is fumbling about with life skills.
I did though untangle all the power cables and other types of cables that I have been keeping for years just in case I might buy something that needs them. I threw a few out too and that was very liberating.
I'm struggling with change at the moment and how I deal with it. I am currently a change struggler. I understand the cycles of change and can appreciate why I am stuck and bogged down, I just can't shift it or understand what I have power over and what not in the change. Am a bit stuck. I was pleased though that I embraced the new facebook timeline so enthusiastically. That was a small triumph.
Bit of Joni Mitchell to sum it all up
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